Choices
by Beth Klarreich Corwin

I often wonder if our career choices in life are chosen in reaction to what our parents wanted for us or as a real listening to our hearts desires, our inner guide.

For me, I feel that perhaps it is a combination. My mother raised 4 daughters in the 1960’s and managed to go back to school and receive her P.H.D. Pretty impressive, yes? And now 35 years later when so many opportunities are presented to women and more and more women are claiming high powered jobs - her youngest daughter - me - age 40 has decided to be a stay at home mom, millennium style and home school her 2 sons.

Is it because I felt cheated that my mother didn’t spend as much time with me as I would have liked her to? Am I giving our sons an opportunity that wasn’t an option for me? Or is it because ,as an ex business partner once said to me ,“ all you’ve ever wanted to be when you grow up is a 6 year old.’’ I’m not sure knowing the answers to these questions would explain anything or make a difference in the lifestyle choices I’ve made to date but it does perhaps provide some insights.

My partner intended that comment as a retort to my not taking our business as seriously as she did. She was right . Nothing mattered to me if I wasn't having fun doing it . Including making money. So even before I had children I always imagined myself as a stay at home mom.

The home schooling part came later on. When Spencer, our oldest son, was just around 2 and a half I was reading the magazine MOTHERING and there was an article on homeshooling. At this time I had never heard of it and was thrilled that it existed. I remember reading the article out loud to my husband Steven and we began passionately discussing it as a viable option. It seemed to fit in with our already alternative lifestyle.

But there is one incident in which I knew that home schooling was the way for us, the only way. Spencer had just turned 4 and his younger brother was almost 2. The three of us were taking a leisurely walk around our suburban neighborhood. It was pre Halloween and since we lived in Sleepy Hollow, the heart of Halloween haven, the decorations were impressive. Spencer went running up to a life size paper skeleton and very matter of factly said,” Look mom,the femur, the biggest bone in the body.”

This one comment struck me on so many different levels. First of all it was then I knew that I always wanted to be the one to hear that comment. I wanted to know that that comment would be registered by someone who could do something with it . What would a kindergarten teacher do with a comment like that ? Would Spencer have even shared his knowledge in a school setting ? Would the teacher have shared that information with me? As his mom I knew that Spencer was not only very interested in the human body but that he enjoyed learning the proper names for the body parts. What I didn’t realize at the time was just how well he retained this information. I was amazed and proud and knew that I always wanted to be the one to hear and share in his constant discoveries.

It may seem like such a small thing but to me it was THE MOMENT. I shall never forget it.

Of course there were so many practical things to handle and to take into consideration before both Steven and I really made the committment to homeschool. But after that “awakening” everything else seemed to work itself out. Four years later alot of questions have been answered and even more have surfaced about homeschooling and our ability as parents to handle the comittment we have made. Would I change my mind? Never. Becoming a homeschooling family has been the most liberating , exciting and challenging choices we have ever made. Am I making money? No. Am I having fun and leading a life worth living ? You bet.