Daily Life
by Beth Klarreich Corwin

When at first people find out that I am home schooling there are a number of reactions I have come to expect. Every thing from “Wow that’s cool.” to the myriad of questions that usually accompany anything that is not the educational norm. “ What about socialization? Are you a qualified teacher? What on earth do you do all day long? Do you ever have any time for yourself? What do you have against schools? Are you doing this for religious reasons?”

Perhaps the best way to answer these questions would be allowing you to see for yourselves what a typical home schooling day consists of.It was one of those REALLY rewarding homescholing days. The kind you imagine when you first think about doing it. Taking the plunge, straying off the mainstream path making yet another decision which puts you into the “alternative lifestyle” group.

It was a perfect fall day. Just on the verge of ending, quite a bit past peak although color was still everywhere. I guess it was the smell that defined it as fall. Post Halloween, a slight chill more energizing than cold, rotting leaves and almost naked trees. A sense of firmness about the earth, a sense of mystery lingering in the air.

Spencer and Buddy jumped at the idea of visiting the working farm.

“Yea, let’s take our bikes”

“Let’s push Poh in carriage.”

“Let’s run”.

“Sure we can do all 3,” I said grabbing a few snacks and some diapers.

We decided on a helmet and bicycle for Spencer, age 5, and a carriage for Buddy age 2 and a half and his doll Poh.

Let’s see, what would this be categorized in school? Oh yeah, a field trip and physical education. I smiled as I thought of my own schooled background of Phys. Ed. Forced physical exercise which usually involved some sort of competitive sport. Oh yes the anxiety of whose team I would be on and would I be chosen first? Would I be separated from my friends? Would I make any mistakes? WOULD I HAVE FUN? Then of course field trips. Lining up--being quiet, having a “buddy”, having a limited amount of time to see or experience the farm, and going to the bathroom on the teachers time schedule.

“Mom, can we grind the corn today”Spencer inquired remembering the other times we had visited the farm.

“I hope so. I love that part too.”

“Corn, morn,corn love corn” chanted Buddy rhyming and repeating.

Here we were this great Hudson Valley neighborhood and we were the only ones out- oh I spoke to soon. Two nannies pushing strollers were coming into view. Well of course it was a Monday, a school day, the other kids were inside- oxygen deprived, creativity stifled.

Spencer and Buddy and I chatted a bit about the different kinds of leaves , the acorns and maple seedlings and the aroma of the leaves and the post Halloween pumpkins. It was joyful, relaxing , no time restraints, no other plans for the day until a 4:30 French class at our house. Buddy would push his doll in the stroller and then asked to be pushed in the stroller.

“Hello. Yes beautiful isn’t it? Oh no they don’t go to school. Forever I hope.”

Just the nannies inquiring. All the typical questions. “What school do they go to? Home schooling? What a commitment . How long will you do that for? ” Even the nannies had heard of home schooling and I realized that it is with great joy that I want to educate and advocate this lifestyle.

I looked at my kids and smiled. How lucky I was!! I heard Spencer talking to himself and I knew his mind was moving at a rapid pace trying to figure out something. I decided to wait before I asked if he needed assistance. I was getting better at this- watching learning take place instead of making learning happen. Sure enough in a few moments his thoughts were strung together cohesively.

“Mom I have 4 wheels on my bike right? My 2 big ones and my training wheels. So 2+2 make 4.”

“Right Spence.”

“And Buddy has 8 wheels on his carriage. Becuz 2 front and 2 front are 4, then 2 back and 2 back are 4 right? and 4 and 4 are 8...”

“Yeah that’s really neat that you...”

“Wait mom if he has 8 and I have 4 then that’s..” he actually stopped his bike and started to count on his fingers..”Mom I need more fingers, can you come here?”

This was important I realized PRACTICAL MATH- I came to his aid. Sure enough he reached the desired number of 12. How amazing. I had done NOTHING to stimulate this “math lesson” and yet by being available , willing to listen, guide and allow, it had happened, prompted by the eager walking sponge Spencer. We continued “math” by then adding wheels on trucks and cars and buses and also subtracting the moving vehicles as well. Wow- math and phys. ed in a 30 minute period using life as education.

We arrived at the farm . There were no lines like there usually are on weekends and no school buses in the parking lot. YES!! Another advantage of home schooling. You can pick times that work best for you and really spend the kind of time that is necessary to experience places .

The farm is Phillipsburg Manor and all the people are dressed in period clothes (Late 1800 - early 1900’s) , there is a film strip explaining the history, a grist mill and water mill, a barn with cows, sheep, and chicken , cooking demonstrations over a fire, spinning and carding wool and a tour of their living quarters as they used to be.

We did it all. On our own time, in our own style.

I have to laugh as I remember certain things. The filmstrip is not that engaging but the kids still got something out of it. At one point Spencer turned to Buddy and said ” See Buddy that is a painting of this place and that is a photograph.” He was right . Buddy just smiled adoringly at his older brother.

They loved trying to crush the corn with the grindstone and seeing the water mill in use. One of the male workers was carving a trough for the animals and even let both children have a supervised whack at the wood. Imagine a school group of 20 being able to do that. That day pumpkin was cooking on the stove and they got to stir it and also proudly told the women what we eat .

“We eat only organic and vegan” Spencer says pretty much parroting what Steven and I usually say when people inquire about our lifestyle. Then he goes into great detail explaining it.

“ Vegan means no chemicals added and organic means no animal products.” He says very seriously.

Well just the facts are a bit confused but the gist of it is there. It is amazing how interested people become in this topic and love to find out what we do eat and how we manage to stay true to our commitment. Again it is fun to educate those that are truly interested.

The house tour which we got privately was also tailored for our needs.

“Where’s the bathroom in this house? Don’t you boys have a bathroom near your bedrooms?” the guide asks .

The boys look around and when she points to the pot under the bed they roar with laughter. Bathroom humor so early on.

We also got to bring the corn that we ground (or attempted to) right to the barn and feed the animals that exact corn. It was a very exciting morning . We spent a good 3 hours there and it was definitely getting to be lunchtime.

“Boo boo, Mommy” Buddy said loud and clear.

Boo boo in our household has an entirely different meaning than a child’s cut or scrape. It is a word that both boys use to let me know they want my milk. It began when Spencer was little and as he passed on the nursing habit to his brother the term came with it.

Now what? Well comply with the request and find a comfortable spot to proceed. There was a sunny spot and as Buddy got situated Spencer sat close by munching on the box of raisins I had brought for precisely this reason. Spencer and I recapped our farm visit and began planning our lunch menu.

Soon both boys were content and the trip home was a safe one. The boys had decided they wanted to make their own lunch . Canned beans with a side of cucumber. Well even though this kind of lunch seems quick and easy just add two kids and the recipe becomes much more complicated. As I began preparing the kitchen for my eager helpers( moving stools close to the sink, getting 2 can openers, 2 strainers and 2 cutting boards) I recalled a conversation I had had with my 9 year old niece about home schooling.

“What are they really learning by just being with you all day long? Are you teaching them decimals and fractions and stuff like that?”

I remember taking a deep breath before I replied and said “Have you ever made your own lunch?”

She wondered why I had answered her question with a question but then said”No my mother always makes it for me.”

So I continued without trying to be too snooty and said “Well Spencer is 5 years old and he makes his own lunch and Buddy at 2 and a half is his assistant”.

I never did answer her questions but I think she heard me loud and clear. To me being able to make your own lunch is far more important than fractions and decimals. Surely if the above subjects are ones that interest them they will find a way to learn them. But allowing kids or rather encouraging children from a very early age to be a contribution to the household they are living in ,to view his family members ( especially his parents) as a team and not something to fear or compete with , well, that is definitely my priority.

Another very popular question people often ask me is what my goals are for my children? I have thought about this a lot and my on the spot uncomplicated standard answer is ,”I would like them to like themselves , find joy in the world around them and be a contribution to the community they live in and to the world at large.”

Back to lunch.

After carefully assisting them with opening the can of beans, removing the top, spilling the beans into a strainer, rinsing them and draining them , the boys were ready to cut the cucumber.

“Wolf man or slices?” I asked.

“Wolf man” they chorused.

Wolf man means they each get about half a cucumber and just dig into the whole thing. I think that term came about when we were discussing how cavemen used to eat and somehow caveman turned into Wolf man. But if you think about it doesn’t it make sense that something with that title would be a lot more fun to eat then sliced cucumber? They both seem to think so.

Often during lunch we play I spy , guessing games ,or I read aloud to them . Today we talked about possibilities for the rest of the afternoon. Sometimes this can be a difficult thing, everyone having a different idea but today they both agreed.

“Okay we can do the whole show. I’ll be the witch and you can be the tin man. Mommy can be Dorothy.” Spencer said with confidence.

The boys had been enchanted with “The Wizard of Oz” for almost a year now. It was incredible how much they were intrigued with the story and the characters. They had both been the tin man for Halloween in really fun costumes designed and created by both my husband Steven and I.

I smiled and sighed realizing how much I was going to have to work to be involved in their production. I glanced at the clock. It was 1:30. At 4:30, 4 neighborhood kids would show up for our weekly French class. I had an idea.

“Okay guys. I need 15 minutes to make some phone calls. During that time please don’t interrupt me and find something to do .”

I met this with some resistance . “Please mom We need you right now we can’t wait.” Spencer began.

“You know Spence all the other moms make their phone calls and stuff while their kids are off at school and I really only need 15 minutes and then I’m all yours again.”

“Okay come on Buddy” he agreed in a less than happy tone.

Of course most of the phone calls involved setting up something concerning our local home schooling group. Responding positively to an upcoming event or trying to coordinate the home schooling drama class. I had taken on that responsibility and needed to do the necessary organizing . All was quiet for a few minutes in the other room. I left a few messages and then heard giggling and talking.

“Wait till mommy sees this.”

Of course they couldn’t. They both burst through the swinging kitchen door.

“Mommy is it time yet?”

I finished leaving a message and hung up the phone and glanced at the clock. Not bad ,it had been 10 minutes.

“Well guys I still have one more phone call.”

“Please mom just take a look and then.....”

“Okay.” How could I resist those eager excited little faces.

I couldn't believe what they had created. Eighteen,( yes they had counted correctly and had reported excitedly) of their stuffed animals were set up on the couch with “programs” for the upcoming production.

“How did you guys think of this? It’s so cool. Oh yeah even Ellie gets to watch too.” I said.

They both began talking at once and somehow I understood that it had actually been a joint effort.

“Okay guys I still have 1 more phone call to make and then we can start our production.”

They protested but I remained firm and suggested they look at their Wizard of Oz book to refamiliarize themselves with the story.

I won. I proceeded to make my phone call reaching yet another machine and as I was finishing I heard lots of crying. Uh -oh a fight or is someone hurt?. It was a little bit of both . While they were looking at the book together Buddy wanted to remain on a page longer then Spencer and a grabbing thing occurred and their favorite book ended up getting ripped. Yikes, they were both upset. Well I knew that when I remained calm these things disappeared more rapidly then if I get caught up in their energy. These incidence always provide an opportunity to talk about human relations, team work , family stuff, and coming up with solutions that everyone can live with. So we spent some time on that , repaired the book with some handy scotch tape and then........ SHOW TIME!!!

Of course before the show actually took place we had to make some of the props. That is the part I enjoy the most. We made a Spencer size witch broom consisting of a Styrofoam pole (taken from another toy ) a brown paper lunch bag where we cut and frayed the edges, and a red rubber band to attach it together. Safe, practical and easy for the kids to help assemble. Then came the hour glass that Spencer wanted to throw and break just like in the movie. Well this took a bit longer but I finally came up with something. Two brown paper lunch bags( they certainly come in handy!) stuffed with newspaper and again attached with rubber bands. A diploma for the scarecrow was the simplest, just a piece of paper that the kids wrote on rolled up and tied a ribbon around. We were finally ready.

As we had been to many family productions the kids like to imitate the real deal. First come the dimming of the lights , then the announcements about no flash cameras and please turn off cell phones and remove any crying babies . It is quite the procedure.

Even though I was the main character, Dorothy, I hardly got a word in edgewise because both boys minds are so absorbent that they literally remember word for word a good deal of the dialogue. I, however do not and I might add it has taken me awhile to appreciate their need for accuracy instead of being the prima donna I would like to and just improvise my lines! I don’t feel so bad though they both end up correcting each other also. There is a lot of “NO no that doesn’t happen there . Remember? Oh yeah. “ The boys become so involved in these dramas that the time passes for the most part quickly and easily. Of course the 18 stuffed animal audience gave us a standing ovation and clearly enjoyed the show.

The doorbell was ringing which meant our French teacher or one of the students was arriving. The boys were still in costume but of course they didn’t mind answering the door that way. It filled them with pride. Everyone arrived and inquired about the costumes. The boys briefly explain (I cut them off!) for French class is about to begin.

French class took place in our basement so we didn’t have to worry about cleaning up our audience or our props. The class was 45 minutes in length . Buddy doesn’t actually participate but sometimes he and I stay in for the singing and sometimes he gets to go and be with his dad who works conveniently from home. I feel very fortunate that Steven works from home and it was definitely a mutual decision to commit to the home schooling way of life. I enjoy staying for class because I get to learn right alongside Spencer . It is also important to Spencer that I stay ther with him because since Buddy came along the 3 of us spend an awful lot of time together.

I am thrilled that the boys get to experience each other fully because so often siblings that attend school are separated from each other a good 8 hours of the day. And this 8 hours only includes the bus time and the school day not to mention each siblings individual extra curricula activities.

I get to observe how they learn from each other and sometimes in spite of each other . I also find it important that they do get “special time “ or “alone time “ as they have named it with each parent . Sometimes Buddy just needs to be a 2 and a half year old and Spencer needs to be challenged.

“Au Revoir” the French teachers says to each child as she shakes their hands. It was a nice lesson. Songs, bingo games in French and learning the colors with a prop, a box of crayons. The teacher is creative , kind and combines freedom and discipline nicely.

Two of the boys from the neighborhood stay and play which is customary . Buddy comes downstairs to join the gang and I am a bystander. I really just need to be there to make sure things are going smoothly. They are .

Steven comes downstairs and we begin discussing dinner. I am very lucky. He is the one to prepare dinner. It is something he enjoys and is good at. I set the table and the doorbell rings.

The boys are being picked up by one of the moms who works full time. Their nannies had dropped them off. We chat awhile and soon they exit and it is dinnertime. It has been an action packed, fun filled, educational and social day.

The boys excitedly recap our day for dad. He smiles and listens and fills their constant requests for more of his delicious “prepared with love” food. I smile and realize how full I am and how full of wonderful life energy our house is.